I am listening to Jesus and laying down my pride.
I am currently neck deep in the 21 Day Sugar Fast. Of course since I am me and a chronic over achiever (I don't say that in a complimentary fashion) I decided to start early and go long, so short of one pre planned girls sushi date, I have been GUNG HO FULL SUGAR FAST since January 1 with full intentions of finishing out the entire month of January. I altered my fast yesterday.
While I know MANY people (especially with chronically high sugar) are feeling much better with the full fast, it just isn't for my body no matter how hard I try to stubborn my way through it. Like I said, I am all or nothing. Go big or go home. I have not felt well the last week, why? Well because my sugar naturally runs LOW when I am eating a normal diet. Cue Lorie Nash Chaney taking my sugar after a valentine's party with my students when I was teaching....and my sugar was barely over 100. The last time I had routine bloodwork, my A1C was 1 point above being labeled hypoglycemic, but my stubborn perfectionist butt has been determined to do the full sugar fast anyway.
The past week has been worse than the detox symptoms. I know what it feels like when my sugar drops, and I have been feeling it. I have also been ignoring it, and I heard God yesterday whisper gently..."just eat the banana.'
So I had a choice. Listen to my stubborn flesh talk me out of it, or listen to the still small voice. I ate the banana. I immediately felt 100xs better.
Here's where the story I don't want to tell you kicks in.
I decided to add natural sugar back in for the remainder of the month, so just transfer to the "no added sugar" fast. So, I ate the banana and felt like a million bucks. Then we went out to breakfast and I had some more fruit (fine) and honey in my tea (well, I mean I ADDED it, so it is added sugar, but it is natural healthy sugar so it's fine...) Then when I came home, had a good lunch, no problem, then got snacky while playing a video game with the Hubs. Had an aple with this pumpkin spice peanut butter we had (yeah, it had sugar....but only like 2 grams, half that of regular PB!) Tried some paleo snack I bought with dates and honey in it (again, yeah...but it's not like BAD sugar...) Then when I got Eli a snack I stole a few pretzels (but like just a COUPLE....) While cooking dinner, I ate two bites of a chocolate covered toffee candy (but I didn't finish it!) Then before bed I was craving a pb sandwich (yeah regular bread and regular sweetened pb...but I mean I only had a half!)
Ya see where this is going yet?
Every compromise had an excuse and every excuse had a justification.
This is why many of us like hard rules...and this is why it is so easy to fall into the lure of legalism. It is harder to follow through, but clearly defined rules leave less room for backsliding. Clearly defined rules also lead to clearly defined failures, however.
We walk in freedom, and freedom is a great responsibility. (Galatians 5:13)
Everyone's freedom, temptation, and slippery slope is individualized to them, but we all have a few things in common:
We are all new creations (2Corinthians 5:17)
We all fall short (Romans 3:23)
His mercy for each of us is new every morning (Lamentations 3:23)
We all have the choice to get back up (Ecclesiastes 9:11, Philippians 3:14)